Between The Panels Of Old Flooring

old wooden floor

In a tee shirt from my old relationship

That is where I am these days

It’s worn, comfortable and cozy

There’s usually silence around me when I wear it

I remember when I first got it

We were moving into a recently renovated “loft” apartment

I had decided my “style” in those days was gonna be
different solid color tee shirts
with different color industrial pants
and earthen-colored New Balance sneakers

She did not approve of my newly discovered fashion sense
and
scoffed at me the day I showed up to sign the lease
wearing this same brown tee shirt
with some red workman’s pants

About 10 minutes after signing the lease
we fucked hard and furiously
on the freshly glossed hardwood floor
of
what would become our bedroom

my semen spilling there between the panels of old flooring

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Nice Dresses

These blondes are pretty cute on TV.
They place them in nice dresses.
Nice dresses.
They follow their contours.
You know what it’s like
to be placed in nice dresses
and have your contours followed.
It’s a delicate world of vanity we build.
It helps us in our head.
It’s delicate and tender the touches
in our heart.
All of them are. All of them are.
We build. We build.

You, I and God know
this is what those nice dresses do.
Let’s place more of the blondes and
brunettes like you
in them.
Go down to church, new shopping malls,
svelte automobiles.
Our thinking will be good for teenagers,
millionaires and tycoons.
Our thinking will be good.

Molochs of masculinity.

Messages from New York City.

Silk blouses across breasts.
Steak dinners times ten.

Video

Pastry Cortical Pantry

Well, who’s name rang from my lips
working the filo dough in the pantry

Who’s softness I pressed into upon
her hips

White laid the powder on the cold marble
counter

Her forearms churned and folded
what would be burning
with goat cheese and caramelized onions
there in the air with kisses
to the neck
before fornication arrived with a bucket

We drank champagne that day
after we ate
made love
and our gonads swelled like flowers
while gas burners burned on the stove
and the radiator burned on the wall in the bedroom

But it was my afternoons in Mexico
when I was young
that made me know how to live all of this
and
so I am still living
even when like a typical adult
I am really not living

but peering into some process that devalues
the logic of value

the greatest gift of the scientist or poet
is to disrupt the systems of value

so
others can learn how to live liberated

Placed Upon The Televisioned Ones

tv love

The difference
is needing love

They love for
association
power

The televisioned ones
the nervous proving
flummoxed

The 21st Century
needs me
more than I
need its iterations

The nouveau stuff

Its archaic stylings
too chic
for marketing’s self-destruction

Let us create
and then let us kill markets

Yeah, it or you
the neurosis eats itself
when advertised to
and leading towards
matrimonial postures

Then there’s business
and those who love for commerce

But I choose to be
arrogantly humble

So I listen meditatively
to a love of nothingness
or
love that understands the
eternal

Nayr, not the love of association

Our Locus Of Self-Worth

She left him
in Alaska
because he was
a heroin addict.

He went on
to become
a
New York Times
acclaimed chef
after
lots of
pain and struggle.
The day
he received
a copy of the article
he threw it
in the trash
without
reading it.
He
didn’t care
for stuff like that.
He had lived 44 years
without needing
externalities
to validate
what made him happy.

She moved
to New York City
and married
an advertising director
who left her
when
she was 47.
Something better came along.
A woman
in her 30s.
Sitting in
her still and quiet condo
one day
she read that article
about
her former love
and broke down
crying
like she had not
since
elementary school
when some mean girls
were cruel to her
for wearing cheap clothing.
She remembered
that moment.
How it taught her
to be pretentious
and guide her
motivations throughout her life.
She realized now
why she didn’t stay
to help him.