I go by the oaks to love you
to walk amongst the woodland grass
under moonlight or breaking sun
in forms of light
my face is insignificance
so I feel like someone passing
between two places in the hills
a million life times in the stars
this is love that moves my human ankles
over dusty rocks of rust and red
this is the having of life
of rust and red from earlier comets
who bore gravitations and ellipses
as every journey or every moment
is an elliptical one
time is the now and the everlasting
that is what the oak trees tell me
when they tune my neurons among them
they share the tones of an unending song
the tones of transmigration
I had a dream.
It was [blank] and I.
We were walking on what seemed
a neverending 6-inch deep lake.
we suspected the water was really deep.
It was night and the darkness seemed
Just went on and on.
It was really muddy in areas.
We still had our shoes on.
They were soggy and waterlogged.
It felt as if dawn might start turning at
any moment, out on the periphery and
perimeter, though it still remained
blankly dark where we stood.
Maybe it felt like that cuz we had kept
walking and walking into the lake
and due to how much time had passed
it seemed like dawn must come soon.
[blank]’s wife and another woman,
definitely someone I knew but can’t recall
now, were walking out into the lake too,
off in the distance to our left.
It was as if [blank] and I had set off ahead
to see if we could find a path off or through
The women were carrying a really beautiful
blond haired toddler girl named Neal.
When they finally got close
and we were chatting about what to do
the little girl’s blond hair seemed as vibrant
as fresh flowers there in the darkness.
It was calming to have the little girl around
and I started carrying her in my arm like a dad
holds his own girl.
I kept telling her, “You’re adorable Baby Neal.”
She would giggle and ask,
“Why you say this?”, and all I’d say was,
“Just remember as you grow up, remember
what an adorable little girl you used to be.”
Occasionally, I would look out on the lake
and honestly feel a deep fear and uncertainty,
but something about all of us being together
and the little girl being there made me
hold myself together, to not show fear,
to remain calm and move forward into the lake.
I wondered why the women had been off
on their own, carrying Baby Neal earlier.
It was like we had left them on their own
to look after the child, as men often do.
I thought this dream was a lot about life.
As we move through it
we are uncertain at points, but we have
the reference of those around us to continue
From these oak trees I have loved.
You are not in a land of oak trees.
You are not in a land of trees.
Cement, metal, bricks and barriers
have become your companions.
So I turn to the oak trees
and at night, under stars
they shepherd the feelings of the
to send to your heart
radio waves and cellular signals
and I lie down on the prairie of Texas
to love you,
to make a new kind of paradigm
with acorns, ants and pebbles,
to dream of an infinite kingdom of
children and the ageless somewhere
amongst the galaxies and galaxies.
The stars are the vows of our marriage,
what is mortal and immortal between us.
cruising down a highway in L.A.
with an authority of consciousness wrong
she has her badge
it’s in her genetics
i lived in a relationship for 10 years
with an authority of consciousness wrong
you know, the policers and correctors
> it later turned out to be billions of years in fact
we were holding hands with the radiation from
our solar star beaming down on our skin
pouring down, rushing the permeable thresholds
cars and big buildings passed outside the window
that radiation is still beaming within us
and as previously discussed always has been
the trillion level beings or the infinite
some police consciousness wrong
some promote consciousness right
and some are the consciousness eternal
like the shades of orange in the Arizona desert
i prefer them all at once
Where are we in this empty room
I reach out to you
We’re not being
the ones in the track houses
We’re not being there
Nothing is being there
the beige bricks and the beige walls
have held our marriage together
Where is this heavenly building
for your blue eyes
A place worthy of gold and infinite
The blood within my human
The tiered gardens and the colonnades
of much better civic planning
I am horse
You do not love me
I will run and run
under night sky or blazing sun
across the Umbrian plains
or the chalk fields of Texas
and when I tire
I will lay down to rest
beneath a rusted oak tree
with ants crawling at my legs
my salivation to the grass
and lonely wind
I rest and rise to continue
the unending trek towards you
You make me feel like
a scattered fast food meal
from Wendy’s thrown across
a parking lot
Left sparse, picked apart and
sad by an economy car
early on a veiled winter day
at a time
when who would eat that
I know you can forget
but will you forgive?
Who is the leaver of this thing here
in my heart?
It is much more difficult to forgive
the people we leave
and have already let go of
Can you forgive a person you can no
we ever hold Jesus to begin with?
When I’m old
and confined to a wheelchair
will you take me on the train
to the soccer game
the European superstars
come to town?
Remind me of my youth
when I had good health
and danced across the field
upon the grass
Will you remind me when I had youth
and love me in
my loss of health?
Will you love me with my
Or will you humbly take the food
off my tray
with a tired and weary heart?